Today is the last day of Maternal Mental Health Week... and instead of sharing a struggle... I want to step back and look at how far I’ve come, and where I want to go from here (both in life, and with the blog 😉) The first place I searched for help was online. I googled … Continue reading Its all up from here…
Keep that doctor away! It's more than white coat syndrome... I'm a fucking mess when I have to go to the doctor ever since Taylor's delivery. When I met Russ, he had Logan, and then we had Mason... and in planning our family, we knew Taylor would be our last child. I was so sentimental … Continue reading An Apple A Day
That is the question. And it has nothing to do with breastfeeding.I’m debating my JOB, and quite frankly my CAREER after Taylor’s delivery.I’m not sure I’ve done a great job articulating how Taylor’s delivery relates to me not wanting to be a nurse anymore. It’s a really complicated combination of feelings and triggers and emotions … Continue reading TO NURSE OR NOT TO NURSE
When Bonding with Baby Disconnects you from Everything Else. Let’s talk momguilt. With or without maternal mental health issues... mom guilt is real. I feel so much guilt for Taylor’s entrance into the world. Delivering under general anesthesia was nothing I ever expected. Even though I had absolutely no voice or options in any of … Continue reading MOMGUILT
ESTABLISHING SOME RESEMBLENCE OF SELF CARE I’m calling this part 1 because it needs to be an ongoing theme. I'm also tagging it to the BirthTraumaMama category as well as #momlife because really... we could all use some self care. When I first started therapy my therapist asked what I like to do for myself. … Continue reading SELF CARE, PART 1:
I think it was a double edged sword that this all happened where I work, with people I work with. In a lot of ways, I think that is actually what turned it into a psychological issue rather than just a bad experience. I had honestly felt really good about going into the OR with … Continue reading Debriefing a Bad Birth
I realized I needed help about 4 months postpartum. I had just gone back to work and I was living in my head... reliving her birth constantly. 🤯 I kept finding myself on the OR table trying to bargain my way out of it, as if I could go back in time. I would see … Continue reading Getting out of my Head.
TRIGGER: This is Taylor’s birth story. If you’re pregnant and reading this, you might not want to... or you might. If you were my provider, this is in no way intended to blame you or make you feel bad, I think you are all awesome doctors and I hope reading how things felt from my … Continue reading The Birth of Lil Miss Quick